How to spot an Ah Beng / Ah Lian (also called jiao bet zai/moi)
So here's the deal. Everywhere we walk in kk we are bound to spot a couple of ah bengs/ah lians gallivanting around with a certain stride/fashion/hairstyle or pattern. These people are the typical chinese type, aged between 13 to god knws how long. I find them to be the biggest joke since the creation of "your mama's so fat" jokes. Take the time to spot one and have a good laugh. (unless of course you're dating one or have a relative that is one) Please, do not mock their shortcomings for they have not broaden their scope of style and still remain in the trend that's been famous years back.
For Ah Bengs:
1. They are typically with bright colored hair. Colors such as gold, orange, bright light brown, blonde highlights are the color of choice.
2. Usually donning a standard hairdo. Puffy tops and back, with a fringe pulled to either side.
3. Can be seen wearing tight outfits with wierd printing, something just seems out of place even if its just jeans and a nice shirt. Oh wait, its the hair!
4. Trance, techno and rave is the music of choice. Can be heard when driving past with the window down.
5. They have a certain stride and air in them. Almost like they think they're cool and gangsta.
6. Language proficiency in english and malay is limited. But they talk out loud with streaks of fluent foul languages in their mother tongue.
7. They have no respect for anything or anyone. As if the world bows down in awe of their stupidity.
8. Hang out spots include dodgy pubs at lintas, cyber cafes, or even ah beng infested cafes. 2 birds of a feather flock together.
9. Usually showing dominance over their female counterparts. As if having them is a status upgrade, and they will try anything to bag a hot chick. Can be classed as a heart breaker as they shift from one girl to another in a matter of days or weeks.
10. They have long fingernails. Usually the thumb or pinky finger. Purpose unknown.
11. Fighting is a past time. Every ah beng wants to be or is a gangster. they would even harm a lady.
12. Negotiating terms are almost non-existent. Fists first, talk later and swear after.
13. Favourite songs to karaoke are all the sad sappy chinese songs.
14. Usually jobless, odd jobs or just living off parents money. Education zero with a bleak future.
15. Can be seen using fake products ranging from wallets to perfumes.
16. Conversations are always about a girl, their car and what not.
For Ah Lians:
1. Cam-whoring is a talent. Can be seen taking pictures of self at anywhere from the toilet or inside a cinema to the car or anywhere which pleases the mood.
2. Like the male, hair colors are brown, orange, copper. however do not mistake any girl for them.
3. Usually seen in shorts, or posses a weird fashion sense.
4. The females usually have a counterpart who is a full fledge ah beng. and can be given the impression as being a pet being controlled. however, they are fond of it.
5. They can be fairly shy and timid, unlike the loud males.
6. However unlike the males, they prefer a more upscale destination instead of dodgy clubs. But they can still be seen accompanying their counterparts there.
7. Can be seen usually at places like Yoyo, Old town, Upperstar, Citymall, Wisma Merdeka, 1 Borneo and Suria especially on weekends where the crowds are of the same type.
8. Most of them idolize few male singers like Lee Hom, JJ Lin, Jay Chou. Don't be surprised if they can remember an old song title and lyrics or their bio but get your birthday wrong or even important events.
9. They get all bubbly at the sight of a good looking guy or the attention from a rich dude.
10. Somehow they know every girl or guy and who they have dated. Bitching about others is also a talent and past time.
11. If you want to date one, make sure you have the capabilities.
12. They have a short interest span and can change counterparts at a very short time.
13. Should you include them in your future, be advised and think over. That it is not of their concern but the present is.
14. Like the males, few of them have a good command in specific language.
If you aspire to be one, this would greatly benefit you.
- This is meant for educational/ humour purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.
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